The milestone is still more than one year away.

I observe my 49th birthday in a few months, sometime in early spring. That’s all I will divulge in print. And while I insist my family downplays turning 50 in 2011, I admit there is a “bucket list” that resonates in my mind. I like to think there is ample time to achieve some of the items on this list, but realistically some are unattainable. I consider these my “fantasy bucket list.”

For my physical appearance, it sure would be nice to have a little more “natural” growth atop my pointed head. Not a big deal really. Thousands, even millions of men go through life with little or no hair at some point. Vanity does not keep me awake at night wondering about hair plugs or a rug. On the plus side, my lack of hair saves me some money at the local barber. Growing more hair is on my fantasy list.

What a boost to my ego if I could fit into a pair of 32-inch jeans again at some point leading up to the 50th milestone. I have not purchased a pair of 32-inch waist jeans since we had Ronald Reagan impersonating a president in the White House. This would require a serious commitment, one of monumental discipline. It’s hard enough work to maintain my present jean size. Still, dropping that kind of weight is not a fantasy. Maybe I could get Jillian, the hot trainer from The Biggest Loser, to give me some pointers. In all reality fitting comfortably into 32-inch jeans is another fantasy.

Many friends I know found stability with one employer during their professional career. Not me. I’m still in search of the perfect job. I fondly recall my years on the family dairy farm and my work in print communications. I lacked the rugged tenacity to survive in dairy production. I do envy the talents of Wisconsin’s Michael Perry, author of Truck, A Love Story and Population 485. I don’t have a novel waiting to be published. But I enjoy hearing a favorable comment regarding a column.

Another item on my fantasy bucket list, it would be really cool to hit the tour circuit as a roadie for one summer with a classic rock band. Some of my top choices, Journey, Tom Petty, Bryan Adams, Bob Seeger or Steve Miller. That kind of work is a young man’s world and the hours would be treacherous. But for one summer, that opportunity would be tempting. Something even more cool, teach myself to play drums and help out a local band that covers classic rock. A clear lack of rhythm dooms that bucket list item.

Next on my bucket list, I need to see more of the United States. My travel experience is limited, very limited. The fact I dread air travel doesn’t help. I would like to see more of the USA, preferably by car or rail while I can still remember what states we visit. I could start with something simple like a trek to northern Wisconsin. Marie always talks about a professional lumberjack championship in Hayward. Something about reconnecting with her youthful zeal.

Maybe by the time I turn 50 my paranoia with passenger jets will fade away. Then it would be possible to consider something global, maybe Australia or Sweden. But we will wait until the kids are out of the house. Although they would be young adults, they would still find something to bicker about if we let them tag along. Plus a pilot in the cockpit reduces the possibility of getting lost.

My bucket list is pretty tame. No desire to bungee jump or sky dive. I like my feet squarely on the ground. Some whitewater rafting … down the Kickapoo River with a cooler full of cold beer is extreme enough for me. And with more than one year’s notice, some advance warning for Marie. All I want for my 50th birthday is a quiet weekend getaway. The only surprise I seek is the destination.

Bob Kliebenstein is a resident of Tomah.